


If I Could Tell Him

by Talking_Walking_Trashbag



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: F/M, I LIVE FOR COSSOVERS, IF I COULD TELL HER AU, M/M, RIP, i just pulled an all-nighter and i havent slept yet, sorry this was this short, thank you to the person who gave me the idea for this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2018-12-04 18:29:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11560908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talking_Walking_Trashbag/pseuds/Talking_Walking_Trashbag
Summary: “So, does Christine say anything about me?” Jeremy asks, tapping his fingers on his knuckles. Michael immediately tenses up. This is what happens when you have your best friend’s crush as a study partner. Of course, Michael could tell his friend,“Of course not! Why would Christine talk about you?”, yet that was another counterpart of Michael (***cough*** book Michael ***cough***)  that he kept deep in the dark, always and forever.





	1. I Love You

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [just some bmc au ideas](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11216718) by [orphan_account](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account). 



“So, does Christine say anything about me?” Jeremy asks, after 30 minutes of just ' _Bro, to the left--the the le--YOU'RE GOING RIGHT, GO TO THE LEFT_ ' and things similar to that. Michael immediately tenses up, _he should've known this was gonna happen sooner or later_. It just what happens when your English study buddy is your best friend's crush of--what? 3, 4 years? He could say;

“Of course not! Why would Christine talk about you?”, however that was another counterpart of Michael that he kept deep in the dark, always and forever. He couldn't just tell Jeremy that his crush was Aromantic Asexual. It was not, in any way, Michael’s story to tell.

So, there was only one thing to do.

“Christine talks about you, like, all the time!”

_Lie senselessly!_

Of course, cause' karma, Micheal's character got bitten by a zombie coming from seemingly nowhere, flashing a big _Game Over_ in red, bloody text. Jeremy’s face immediately lights up as he turns over to face his friend. 

“Wha--really? W-what does she say about me?” He asks with a grin so wide, his face might crack in half.

“Well, uhm, she…” Michael trails off, trying to think of Christine- like things to say. Somehow, Micheal's brain couldn't come up with any compliments happy and cheery enough to be _genuinely_ Christine's but, he's gonna damn well try. There's no way he's gonna shit on his friend like this. Suddenly, the playlist on Michael’s phone changes to a light guitar instrumental.

“She thinks you’re _amazing_.” Michael lets out, a smile of his own growing on him, shifting in his beanbag to face Jeremy. 

“Christine? She thinks I’m amazing?” Jeremy asks, pulling his knees up while hugging them.

“Yeah!”

“Why?” Jeremy grows a puzzled expression.

“ _How could anyone find you not amazing?_ ” Michael’s brain asked.

“I guess you're nerdy-ness grew on her or something " Michael laughed,

“Shut up!" Jeremy smiles, trying to kick at Michael. "Really?”

“Yeah! And your smile.  _Dude_ , she says it's the cutest thing she's seen in her life. Sometimes it's barely there but, it's still  _there_.” Jeremy feels his smile and starts squishing around his face. Michael lets out a chortle before continuing.

“And she noticed, you know, before all of the _stuff_ happened, that you were one of the few people who would still fill in which play you want the school to do.” Michael remembers the moment that they handed those things out, Jeremy would spend, at least, 5 minutes staring at it and second guessing before finally choosing one. It was kinda adorable--in a total  _friendly_ way. 

“But, she was always too shy to tell you! She does that Christine thing that she does where she jumps dramatically onto stuff. She practically goes around screaming, 'If I could tell him!'. It's kinda funny--”. Micheal realizes he's been rambling and it might become too unbelievable.

“Did she say anything else?” Jeremy asked excitedly.

“W-what?”

“You know what, it’s stupid let’s just-” He stutters, realizing his eagerness.

“She thought that you looked really ho-uh that you looked really...nice when you finally went back to wearing your old clothes.” Michael stutters around, his brain malfunctioning for a second.

“Really?”

“Yeah but, she never talked about it. She doesn’t know how to say,” Michael halted--no seriously, he just  _stopped_. His heartbeat came to a screeching halt, as did his lungs, and probably his brain all in the span of a second. 

“I-I love you.”  _Holy shit,_ _Holy shIT, HOLY FUCKING SH--_

“Sh-she said she loved me?” Jeremy asked, visibly surprised.

“W-well you know her, she’s very dramatic.” Michael tried to play off. Jeremy’s phone buzzed, his dad was calling him.

“Oh shit, I’m late. Thanks, Michael!” He explained, grabbing all of his shit from behind his designated beanbag. All Michael does is a small wave and a weak smile. Once Jeremy is completely out of the basement, Michael collapses backwards, hands flying to his face.

“Oh god, I  _love_ you." He mutters rubbing his face


	2. Only Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (aka: The Homoerotic version of Two Player Game)  
> “So, what would you do if I told Jeremy that you kinda, sorta love him.” He winces because just as Christine opens her locker she slams it shut.  
> “YOU WHAT!?” She shrieks, almost dropping the books she needed to store away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhhhhhhhhhh, two months??? What? Noooooo! It hasn't been two..months...and...a couple...days

“Hiiiii Christine!” Michael greeted, dragging out his words, he leaned on the locker next to Christine’s as nonchalantly as he possibly could.

“What’s wrong?” She asks, sighing softly.

“W-What do you mean? Can’t we just talk? Like, buddies do?” Michael nervously laughs, lightly punching her shoulder.

“Michael, I've been studying with you for months, I know what it looks like when you're frustrated.” Christine sighs, moving to unlock her locker.

“After I say this, you are _for sure_  going to hate me.” Michael fiddles with the ribbing of his sweater, moving over a bit to allow Christine to fully open her locker.

“Michael, I could never hate you, just tell me.” She laughs, starting to put in her combination.

“ _Oh, is that opinion gonna change_.” Michael’s brain sings.

“So, what would you do if I told Jeremy that you kinda, sorta love him.” He winces ready for Christine to absolutely screech or something a long those lines. 

“YOU WHAT!?” She shrieks, almost dropping the books she needed to store away. Micheal found it nice to know that he could predict the future. 

“It's just--his face was just so sad and I couldn't just say ‘no, fuck off’!” Michael shouts, putting his heads into his hands. She bites her bottom lip.

“You could’ve just told him I was AroAce.” Christine groans, adding some of the books into her locker, 

“Well, I didn’t know if you wanted to be out yet.” Michael sighs in response.

“I also found out I kinda, maybe, totally am in love with him.” Michael muttered. As soon as she replace her textbooks from her locker, Christine slammed the door, squealing.

“No. Effing. Way! Micheal, oh my gosh--!”

“Hey Christine!” Jeremy greets, suddenly appearing from behind Michael. In response, Michael lets out a high-pitched yelp.

“Hi Jeremy! Michael and I were just talking and-” Christine starts, her smile wide.

“aCTUALLY CHRIsTiNe,” Michael screeched, “wE WEREN’T AND I GOTTA BLAST!” Michael flipped on his sweater and speed walked as fast he could towards his next class.

"Micheal! You know I hate confrontation!" Christine shouts after the boy but, it was essentially no use. 

“So, uh--Michael said something really, really funny yesterday.” He lets out nervous laughter that sounded extremely close to Michael’s.

“Yeah?” Christine smiled nervously. She was going to have to break Jeremy's heart and she was  _most definitely_ not really for that.

“He actually said that you--um--like me? I got drunk in your lap once and I kinda see you looking at me in the hallway too BUT, IT’S NOT LIKE YOU’RE A STALKER, I DON’T THINK YOU’RE A STALKER! Don’t get me wrong, you are a GREAT girl and I had a huge crush on you last year--why the fuck did I say that that has nothing to do with this--but, I like someone else and-”

Oh.

 _Oh_. 

“Jeremy, don’t worry, it's alright.” Christine smiles, looking behind her at the red blur turning the corner.

“I’m actually-” Christine stops herself to think over her sentences. If she were to say what she wanted to, that would out Michael’s new-found crush on Jeremy so, she just took a sigh and started over.

“I’m actually questioning if I’m AroAce. So, I guess my crush was just like ‘proof that you probably aren’t’, You know, thoughts swirling around the brain.” Christine adds a small chuckle at the end. The corners of Jeremy’s mouth start to tip down into a frown.

“You’re still really cute though!” Christine adds to the end, swiftly. The first bell rings and students start to make their way to their respective classes.

“Well, see you sometime?” Jeremy asks, backing up. Christine nods and starts walking in the opposite direction.

* * *

“So, I talked with Christine today.” Jeremy muttered, trying to kill a zombie.

“Oh, really? W-what did she say?” Michael asked, nervousness intensified.

"That she's questioning Aro-Ace and stuff." Jeremy adds, shooting another monster in the face while Michael swats one away behind him.

"Oh," Micheal lets out in a small voice.

"It kinda sucks always being in the end of people's sexual experiments. Like, Nicole, both Brooke and Chloe, and even Jake that one time," Jeremy sighs, looking at his shelter in the video game. Before Michael could absolutely obliterate Jeremy about the whole Jake situation, Jeremy continued.

"I mean, is this really what the rest of my love life is gonna be? Nothing but tests for other people? Will I ever find someone who'll sit down and like me for me? Hell! Sometimes I wonder if you like me because I'm that intolerable-" Jeremy rants as Michael pauses the game. The boy whips his head over to Jeremy, 

"Jeremiah William Heere, you couldn't dare try to sell me reason to hate you because that will be like talking to a goddamn wall. You've been my best friend since fucking diapers and I can't even imagine getting tired of you," Michael ranted,

"You are so beyond _interesting_ and  _amazing_ and so much more that you never give yourself credit for! If you didn't exist, I wouldn't even know what to do with myself--there's nobody like you! Even if nobody dates you--which is literally impossibly seriously, go look in mirror--I'd be there for forever. Even if it was _only us_ , I'd be there, forever!"

"I-I never thought that someone like you could care about me. Even if I couldn't find any, I'll try to give you reasons to not let me go. If I'm not an experiment to you, I promise, I could only try my fucking damnedest to make me the person you deserve." Micheal's voice cracked horribly, his throat feeling like somebody's hand was snaked around it and trying to choke him to death. There was a long stretch of silence as Jeremy just stared at Micheal with disbelief, eyes glossy. 

"Jeremy I--" Michael was interrupted, almost immediately. Jeremy had crawled over to Micheal and grabbed his sweater. Micheal's eyes fluttered shut, waiting for Jeremy's lips to clash into his like in a rom-com.

 _Only Jeremy didn't move at all_. He just stared at Micheal's face for,  _at least_ , 10 hours. 

"Jeremy?" Michael asked, his voice barely above a whisper. 

"I--Micheal--I'm sorry." Jeremy mutters, letting the other boy go. 

"What? Jeremy?" Michael asks, opening his eyes, pulling back to get a good look at Jeremy. He had tears flowing freely from his eyes, down his pale cheeks.

"I'm s-so sorry." Jeremy's voice cracks before he quickly makes his way up, stumbling back.

"Jeremy, wait!" Micheal starts making his way up but, Jeremy's already staggering towards the stairs.

"I gotta go, sorry." Jeremy murmurs before bolting it up the stairs, forgetting all of his belongings. 

A knife--a real knife--could've been stabbed into Micheal's chest and twisted 360° and he probably would've felt the exact same amount of pain.

"Fuck!" Micheal screams into the nothingness of his basement to absolutely nobody. Micheal is  _all by himself_ once again. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> WHIPPITY WOO A STORY WHERE MICHAEL ISN'T BEING PHYSICALLY AND/OR MENTALLY ABUSED FOR YOU! But, I'm actually surprised at myself for not making Michael sad or something, wowzer.


End file.
